Unit 1: Social Skills

Lesson 4: Friends

Topic 2: Making Friends

OBJECTIVES

1. Identify what characteristics are important in a friend.

2. Identify what a good friend does.

3. Identify the things to consider when making friends at work.

4. Identify the things to consider when making friends outside of work.

5. Practice skills that help people make friends.

MATERIALS NEEDED
Making Friends

marker board or something to write on

SUPPLEMENTAL RESOURCES
Social Skills Development: Practical Strategies for Adolescents and Adults with Developmental Disabilities – a book by Stephen Antonello. It can be purchased from Any Psych Book (1800 210-7323) for $47.95. Check local book stores as well.

INSTRUCTIONAL FORMAT
This topic will involve discussion and practice of skills to make friends. It is important to talk about the importance of making friends in and out of work. It is important to convey to the students that they have a limited time to make friends at work (breaks and outside of work). It is going to take time to get to know people if you are just hanging out during breaks. On the other hand, when you are trying to make friends outside of work, you have to seek people out by getting involved in other activities. Remind students that not everybody is going to want to be friends with them. So, no matter what efforts they make, not all relationships are going to work out.

1. Make a list of characteristics (funny, nice, good looking, etc.) of people they would like to have as friends. To help the discussion, use characters on television as examples. Have the students say why they would like to be friends with that person and why.
   
   

2. Discuss the types of things friends do for one another. Point out what to look for when a person is not being a good friend.
   
   

3. Discuss the issues around making friends at work. Some issues include:

   • When you are at work, you have a limited time to build the relationship. You should not be too pushy with the relationship. Let the friendship develop gradually through getting to know the person during breaks and doing things outside of work.
     
     

   • Just because you work with someone, it does not mean that you will automatically be friends. Some people may not be interested.
     
     

   • Co-workers probably are going to have other friends at and outside of work.
     
     

   • Worktime is for work. You do not want to get in trouble by spending a lot of time socializing while you are supposed to be working. Some people can chit-chat while they work and still get the job done. Some people cannot.
     
     

   • Even though it may be appropriate for friends to hug, play jokes on each other, or talk about personal things outside of work, it probably is not going to be appropriate to do that kind of thing at work, even on breaks.
     
     

4. Discuss issues around making friends outside of work. Some issues include:

   • You have to find people who you can meet. This can be difficult. But some ideas for places to meet people are at church, in the neighborhood, at community centers, or any other place you may find activities that you enjoy. There is a lesson titled "Leisure Skills" that can provide additional information and training.
     
     

   • Building friends outside of work takes time and effort. Remind students that people have other activities such as work and other interests. Thus, you cannot expect a friend to hang around with you whenever you want.
     
     

5. Role-play situations of meeting people, engaging in small talk, and asking someone to do something. Use instruction, modeling, role-play, and feedback. The steps for each skill can be found on the handout, "Making Friends." Make sure to talk about cues that a person can pick up if the other person is not interested. For example, the person avoids you, is not interested in what you have to say, consistently refuses to do things with you, and generally is not interested in your life. Help the students understand that not everybody is going to want to be friends.
   

SIGNS OF GENERALIZATION
Students are getting along with co-workers. They are appropriate in their relationships at work. They are not intrusive, have healthy relationships in and out of work, and their relationships, or lack thereof, do not interfere with work. Students are observed introducing themselves and asking people to do things outside of work. A trainer can assist in this process by prompting students to go up and talk to people they do not know. The trainer can do some coaching prior to the students practicing skills in a real situation.

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