Unit 1: Social Skills
Lesson 1: Communication Skills
Topic 3: Assertiveness
OBJECTIVE
Use assertive statements to express oneself in various role-plays.
MATERIALS NEEDED
Tips for Being Assertive
video-tape recorder (optional)
SUPPLEMENTAL RESOURCES
Social Skills Development: Practical Strategies for Adolescents and Adults
with Developmental Disabilities – a book by Stephen Antonello. It
can be purchased from Any Psych
Book (1800 210-7323) for $47.95. Check local book stores as well.
INSTRUCTIONAL FORMAT
This topic will mainly involve modeling and role-playing. Trainers will need
to do some instruction prior to modeling the assertive behaviors. Trainers
will need to take into account the students' verbal abilities when instructing
them on assertive messages. It is important that the students become comfortable
in using different types of assertive skills. This unit may need to be broken
up into multiple sessions in order to practice the skills thoroughly. It
is helpful to video-tape role-plays. If you have the equipment, it is highly
recommended.
Instruct on the "Tips for Being Assertive." Depending
on the audience, a trainer may need to limit the information provided in
this handout. The suggested components are marked with an asterisk. The
role-modeling should then focus on these areas.
Instruct on the three different categories of assertive behavior. Again,
depending on the student's comprehension abilities, this information should
be modified as needed. According to Cooley and Hollandsworth (1977) and Christoff
and Kelly (1985) there are three basic categories of assertive behavior.
Use the categories listed below as guides for the content of the different
assertive messages. Each student should practice the three different types
of assertive behavior.
Refusal Assertiveness – How to say no at the right time and in
the right way
State your position – "No, I can't."
Explain your reason – "I have something else to do that day."
Express understanding – "I hope you can find something else."
These skills should be practiced in the context of a person trying to get
the student to do something that is harmful (use drugs, steal, skip work,
etc.) or a person trying to get the student to do something when he she has
another commitment (work overtime, babysit, work on a day off). Remind students
that they have a right to say no whenever they want, but there may be serious
consequences (i.e., boss asks you to do a job, police ask you to pull over,
etc). The point of saying no is to keep from being taken advantage of or
doing something harmful, not to keep from engaging in daily responsibilities.
When practicing refusals of harmful behavior, it is not appropriate to make
understanding statements (i.e., I hope you have luck getting someone else
to snort cocaine). It is most important to focus on the refusal and the
reason.
Expressing Feelings – Telling people how you feel
Express positive feelings – "You did a great job."
Express negative feelings – "I am upset by what you did."
There is a unit on expressing negative feelings in the "Anger Management"
lesson. In both situations it is helpful to teach the person to give reasons
for her feelings, especially when assertively expressing negative feelings.
Expressing positive feelings and giving compliments are important skills
in building healthy relationships. Complimenting people at work is an excellent
way to demonstrate good social skills on the job. It is important for people
to distinguish what is appropriate in different situations. For example,
it is not appropriate for people at work to make statements such as "Good
job on that project, I love you!"
Request Assertiveness – To get information, clarification, and
ask for what you want
State the problem – "Boss, you have given two different instructions."
Make a request – "Can you let me finish one project before starting the other?"
Getting Clarification – "Can you explain what you want done again?"
Making requests is an important skill, especially on the job site. Remind
students that just because they are being assertive, they do not have the
right to make any request they want. It is important for students to practice
approaching supervisors with different requests. Some examples include getting
clarification on an instruction, asking them to do something different when
criticizing work (i.e., "please do not yell at me in front of co-workers"),
asking for time off, asking for different work, etc. Often times, another
form of assertiveness is combined with requests. One example is, "I am upset,
please do not yell at me in front of the other workers."
Model good assertive skills for each of the three categories of assertive
behavior. Do it incorrectly every once in a while to see if the students
can correct it.
Students should role-play multiple scenarios for each of the three categories
of assertive behavior. There are some suggested scenarios to role-play under
each category of assertive behavior.
Christoff, K. A., & Kelly J. A. (1985).
A behavioral approach to social skills training. In L. L'Abate & M. A.
Milan (Eds.), Handbook of social skills training and research. New
York: Wiley.
Cooley, M. L., & Hollandsworth, J.
G., Jr. (1977). A strategy for teaching verbal content of assertive responses.
In R. E. Alberti (Ed.), Assertiveness: Innovations, Applications,
Issues. San Luis Obispo, CA: Impact.
SIGNS OF GENERALIZATION
When students encounter a situation that requires assertiveness, they talk
to the trainer to get coaching about the approach they will take. The students
are making assertive statements most of the time, especially with request
assertiveness where the person has time to consider what request he/she needs
to make. The students are providing compliments to people around them. The
students are not letting people take advantage of them.
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