STEPS FOR ANGER CONTROL

STEP 1: Prepare for the Provocation

If possible, get yourself ready for a potential conflict. Make statements such as: "I can handle this. I know how to control my temper. This could get ugly, but I know how to handle myself. Remember to breathe. If it is not going well, calmly excuse myself and address later."

STEP 2: Confront the Provocation

While the conflict or problem is going on or after it has happened and you are going to address it, make statements such as: "Keep calm. Be cool. This is not that big of a deal. I will control the situation if I stay in control. Yelling and screaming is not going to solve anything. This person is really acting poorly, she must really be upset. I can help this person if I remain calm. I am not going to let him upset me."

STEP 3: Coping with the arousal and distress

When you start to notice your body getting upset and you may be losing your cool, make statements such as: "I can feel my heart pounding, take a few breaths. My head is pounding, take a break and talk about it later. I have reason to be annoyed, but I am going to stay in control. He can probably see that I am getting upset, but my voice and words will be calm. Even though I am steaming, I am going to try to work this problem out. I am way too upset to confront her, I will talk to her later."

STEP 4: Self-Evaluation

After the episode is over, make statements such as: "That was not so bad. I got a little peeved, but I stayed in control. I did a good job breathing. My breathing helped me. I did a good job. I can see where keeping my cool turned out better in that situation."

Source: Novaco, R. W. (1975). Anger control: The development and evaluation of an experimental treatment. Lexington, MA: Lexington Books; D.C. Heath.

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